Fiber Craft · UFO

UFO Round Up!

Come one, come all! For your viewing and guilt-assuaging pleasure, I present my UnFinished Objects in yet another UFO Roundup:

The first UFO on our tour will be one that mocks me regularly, as it is a project on the wall of my craft room: The Yarn Wall of Perpetual Postponement.

Not a portal to another dimension, alas. Just a window.

I started this project after I upended my entire crafting space under the guise of reorganization. Faced with my entire yarn, fiber, and fabric collections now sitting on the floor, I decided yarn would make the most sense to address first as it was the stash with the smallest volume. However, it’s also the stash that the kittens seem the most dedicated to destroying (#catlogic) so I needed storage that was above their reach and out in the open so I couldn’t use the excuse “oh I forgot I had that” when I come home with three sweaters’ worth of new yarn.

Reason it isn’t done: I spent two afternoons trying to get the first board up. Once I got all the yarn wound into balls and cakes hung up, I had sated the Get It Done monster enough to ignore its taunts and haven’t pick up a drill or a yarn winder since.


Onto our next stop: The Stays of Leisurely Lethargy!

I should have made it in hot pink so at least I could snicker while I’m hand-sewing for hours.

This project has been going on for the better part of a year (probably longer, but my embarrassment has limits). I purchased the pattern for “sensible stays,” aka a corded corset, because I was interested in attempting to wear one in lieu of the standard options for a modern lady’s underthings. There was an entire Wardrobe Plan: I was going to make the stays, then the standard comfy underpinnings, then take measurements on top of those to make myself a whole set of reasonable and functional dresses and skirts. A handsome Plan! *sheds a tear*

Reason it isn’t done: Hand sewing is slow, and I didn’t realize that the pattern instructions called for the entirety of the garment be sewn by hand. Normally, I would just use a machine anyway since I’m not looking for historical accuracy points in this particular case, but it turns out hand sewing is required for a reason. I will get this done sometime next decade probably.


And lastly, The Christmas Tree Skirt of Time-Sucking Tedium.

I’m not sure the tree skirt will ever resemble the picture, but it will resemble …something.

I have a fondness for tree skirts, although this is mostly rooted in my idyllic memory of my mom making the one that went around the Christmas tree for my entire childhood. I found a pattern online that appealed to me, a quilted star in reds, whites, and greens. I thought I was being so smart by using a fabric jelly roll where all the fabric was already cut into strips, but was promptly rewarded for my hubris when the strips proved too narrow for the larger pieces.

Undeterred, I then used every last bit I could recall from my high school geometry class to calculate new dimensions because I couldn’t just cut strips from some other fabric I had, pish-tosh! The horror. The waste! The shame.

Reason it isn’t done: while I was able to bend the diamond and square dimensions to my will with an acceptable margin of error, sewing the pieces together is extraordinarily tedious and time consuming. Matching corners, pinning them to within a millimeter of their life, sewing slowly to take all of the pins out before I sew over them (a lesson hard-learned), the constant ironing. It takes forever and I have to do it in my craft space, and well, the yarn wall mocks me.


That’s all for this round up, folks! I hope the next time I talk about these projects it will be because they are done, but hey, who am I kidding? *wink*

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